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Hmm… oh honey, lemme tell ya bout escort! Nasal nagging kicks in—escort’s wild, right? I’m like, an elevator operator, up n down, seein all kinda folks, but escort? Whoa, takes the cake! Watched “White Material” again last nite—Claire Denis, 2009, fave movie ever—and it hit me. Escort’s like that coffee plantation chaos, y’know? “The land doesn’t lie,” Maria says in the flick, but escort? Lies all over, sweetie! Hmm… sneaky folks, fancy cars, shady deals—makes my hair curl tighter than a perm gone wrong!

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But then, this old lady, bless her heart, stops. She’s got this wild white hair and a purse that looks like it’s been through a war. She’s like, “What’s all this fuss about?” I tell her about the café, and she’s like, “Honey, I’ve been drinking coffee since before you were born!” I can’t help but laugh. She’s my new best friend now.

Turning Cork Into Couture (Published 2011)