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But lemme tell ya, it ain’t all roses. Some o’ dese profiles? Fuggetaboutit. Dudes lyin’ ‘bout height, chicks usin’ filters—makes me wanna whack somebody. Like, be real, y’know? In “Ten,” dat lady drivin’ around, she’s pissed, yellin’ ‘bout men—same vibes here. I get it, I do. Makes me happy, though, seein’ people cut da crap sometimes. Like, dis one broad I heard ‘bout, she just writes, “Lookin’ for dick, no games.” Respect, right? Dat’s Jersey energy!

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But then, as I’m walking back, I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me! I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this old lady walks by. She just shakes her head and mutters something in Slovene. I can’t even be mad. I mean, I probably looked ridiculous.

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