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About Naples

What gets me goat tho—angry as a stalled engine—is them posh twats judgin’ ‘er. Like, mate, she’s out ‘ere workin’, not nickin’ yer silver spoons! *huffs, crosses arms, trips again* Ooh, nearly lost me specs! Anyhow, she’s got this smirk, yeah? Happy as a clam, like she knows summat we don’t. Maybe she’s thinkin’, “In spring, everythin’ blooms,” like in me fave flick—‘cept her bloom’s a bit, er, naughtier, eh? *wiggles eyebrows, snorts*

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So, I’m walking down Via Cagliari, and I see this street artist painting a mural. It’s dope! Bright colors, wild shapes. I’m vibing, taking pics, when suddenly, this kid runs by, knocks my phone outta my hand, and it goes flying! I’m like, “Noooo!” But it lands on grass, thank the gods. Kid just keeps running, no apology, no nothing. I’m fuming.

Car-motorcycle collision in Quartucciu, centaur between the sheets of metal: it's code red