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Funny thing—sex-dating’s got history. Old-school “lonely hearts” ads in papers? Same deal, just slower. Victorian horndogs mailed dirty letters—true story! Now it’s all instant, sloppy, glorious. I’m ramblin, but you get it—sex-dating’s a circus. Love the chaos, hate the fakes, can’t stop. “I use people,” Brandon admits in Shame, and hell, don’t we all? Clarice… it’s a feast, and I’m starvin.

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But then, the fire alarm goes off! Seriously? I’m like, “Not today!” We all rush outside, and I’m trying to keep the kids calm. “It’s just a drill!” I yell, but they’re all wide-eyed. I’m sweating bullets.

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