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I dig it, though, the hustle. Reminds me of Heath Ledger’s “I’m an agent of chaos”—these girls, they flip the script. One time, my buddy Paulie, he hires this escort, right? Swears she’s a college kid, next day she’s on the news—some politician’s daughter! I’m like, “Holy shit, Paulie, you banged a headline!” He’s sweatin’, I’m dyin’ laughin’.

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First off, I hit the streets. I’m cruising down Via Roma, dodging tourists like they’re pigeons. Seriously, these folks don’t know how to walk! I almost tripped over a guy taking a selfie with the old mining tower. Like, dude, it’s just a tower! But whatever, I’m not here to judge.

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