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I’d be ragin’ happy if I scored one, tho. “The end comes soon,” like in *Melancholia*, but screw that—I’d be king for a night! Maybe she’d be hot, maybe not, but I’d yell, “You’re my planet now, bitch!” Total Cartman move. Still, it’s risky—could get robbed or somethin’. Makes me mad thinkin’ about it! Don’t mess with me, I’m Eric freakin’ Cartman!
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But then, outta nowhere, the kite gets stuck in my combine! I’m like, “No way!” I stop the machine, and the kid’s face drops. I’m trying to be cool about it, but inside, I’m freaking out. I mean, what do I do?
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