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So, I’m watchin’ her, this bird, and it’s like Freddie in “The Master” again, yellin’, “You can’t tame me, bruv!” She’s wild, untamed, a fish floppin’ on the deck, but she ain’t floppin’, she’s fightin’. Makes me wanna shout, “You go, girl!” — proper loud, like. Dunno why, just gets me blood pumpin’, seein’ her strut past the kebab shop, heels clackin’, skirt so short you’d think it’s a belt, ha!

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But then, I remember my car. I rush back, and guess what? I locked my keys inside. Classic move, right? I’m standing there, laughing at myself. “What a day!” I finally call a locksmith, and while I’m waiting, I chat with some locals. They’re all like, “You’re the auctioneer? You’re famous!” I’m like, “Famous? Nah, just a guy who talks fast and sells stuff.”