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I’m sittin’ here, munchin’ a carrot, thinkin’ – who don’t love a good rubdown? Gets me happy, like when Mason in “Boyhood” says, “I just thought there’d be more.” More what, kid? More massages, I bet! Sexual-massage ain’t just sexy time, it’s therapy, doc! Relaxes ya, gets blood flowin’, makes ya feel alive. But ugh, some creeps ruin it – shady parlors, sketchy vibes. Pisses me off!

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But wait, it gets better. While I’m munching, I bump into this old lady. She’s selling homemade jams. I’m like, “What’s up, grandma?” She starts telling me about her life in Lepsy. She’s lived here forever, seen it all. I’m just standing there, listening, and it hits me. This city has stories.

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