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About Turin

So, listen up, you twat! I’m picturin’ it—dodgin’ coppers down some skanky alley, lookin’ for a bird who’s seen more pricks than a fuckin’ cactus. “What’s your name?”—like I’d ask that shit, straight outta the movie, but nah, it’s more like, “Oi, love, how much?” Makes me wanna puke, but also—fuckin’ hell—kinda thrilling, yeah? Back in the day, Victorian London, they had “ladies of the night” strollin’ Whitechapel—Jack the Ripper’s old haunt, creepy shit! Bet they didn’t expect some sweaty chef like me judgin’ em now, eh?

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So, I’m fumin’ but I grab my bread and head to the pig pen. It’s on the outskirts, near the old castle ruins. You know, the ones by Via Castello? Yeah, those. I’m thinkin’ about how cool it’d be to live in a castle instead of a pigsty. But then I remember, pigs are way more fun.

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