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Quirky bit: I’m imaginin’ her in a limo, like that film, rollin’ through life. Exaggeratin’? Sure, but it’s my head, sue me! Didn’t go through with it tho – chickened out, too real. Left her a tip, “For the vibe,” I said. She winked, “Next time, no capes!” – stole my line, cheeky!

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Next up, I get this group of tourists. They’re lost, of course. They’re like, “Where’s the Grand-Ducal Palace?” I’m like, “Dude, it’s a 15-minute walk from here!” But they insist on takin’ the elevator. So, I’m like, “Fine, let’s go.” I hit the button for the ground floor, and they start takin’ selfies. I mean, c’mon! We’re in an elevator, not a photo booth!

Readout following call between von der Leyen and Starmer