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So, sexual-massage—fancy term for gettin’ frisky with lotion. Ain’t just a backrub, nah, it’s all ‘bout the naughty bits. Hands slidin’ where the sun don’t shine, tension buildin’ like a bear trap ready to snap. I hate it. Too much gigglin’ and moanin’—gimme silence and a steak instead. But folks swear it’s “relaxin’,” like that’s a real excuse. Buncha perverts, if ya ask me.

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Then, boom! The door swings open, and in walks this group of college kids. They’re loud, like, obnoxiously loud. One of ‘em trips over a chair. Classic. They start ordering all these fancy drinks. “I’ll have a caramel macchiato with oat milk, extra foam!” Like, bro, it’s 8 AM. Just get a coffee! But whatever, I’m here for the tips, right?

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