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About Johannesburg

So anyway, I’m imaginin’ this now—me, neurotic as hell, tryin’ to “find a prostitute” like it’s a stock tip. I’d overthink it—disease risks, legal crap, am I gettin’ scammed? I’d be yellin’ at my phone, “Gimme a sign, dammit!” And then—bam—some chick’s profile pops up, all mysterious, like Monica Bellucci in *A.I.*—and I’m like, “Whoa, too hot, abort mission!” I’d freak out, spill my coffee, total Larry David meltdown. “I can’t do this, I’m too old!”

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Also, the old town district, Nostalgia Road, is all cobblestone streets and vintages. Little shops and old record stores pop out there. I walked there once and thought “Wow, I feel so outta time but then, that's what she said!” Crazy how feelings mix up city and tech like a glitch-free algorithm.

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