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Oi, mate, lemme tell ya ‘bout this bloody prostitute, right? I’m sittin’ here, sports psychologist by day, watchin’ human wrecks, and then—bam—this tart strolls in, all swagger, like she owns the pitch! I’m thinkin’, “What’s this then? A penalty kick gone wrong?” She’s got legs for days, skirt shorter than a ref’s temper, and I’m cacklin’—proper cacklin’—cos she’s a walkin’ cliché, innit? Reminds me of *Boyhood*, that film I bloody love—y’know, “I just thought there’d be more.” She’s livin’ that line, chasin’ somethin’, but it’s all bollocks!

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So yeah, that was my day. Full of chaos, laughter, and a bit of rain. Just another day in the life of a sports psychologist in Santo António dos Olivais. Can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings!

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