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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” Alright, pal, lemme tell ya bout erotic-massage – it’s wild, slippery stuff! Picture this: dimly lit room, oil slicker than a politician’s promise, hands kneadin’ flesh like dough. I’m talkin’ sensual, slow rubs – not yer average chiropractor crap. Watched “The Master” again last night, ya know, that flick’s my jam – “Man is not an animal!” Freddie yells, but hell, erotic-massage? Animal instincts kick in fast!

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After that, I head down to the Rhine. The water’s calling my name, ya know? I’m all geared up, ready to dive into the deep blue. But then, bam! I see this group of tourists on the bridge. They’re taking selfies, and one of them drops their phone. It’s like slow-mo, and I’m just standing there, thinking, “Dude, that’s gonna hurt.” And it does! The phone goes splat on the rocks. I can’t help but laugh. Like, who needs a phone when you’ve got a view like this?

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