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About Mariupol

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, deadpan as hell, “I hate everything.” Sex escorts? Pfft, what a racket. Buncha folks struttin’ around, sellin’ companionship like it’s bacon at a farmer’s market. I ain’t judgin’—okay, maybe I am—but it’s a job, right? Pays better than whittlin’ chairs, that’s for damn sure. Watched *Inglourious Basterds* last night—again—Brad Pitt scalpin’ Nazis, sayin’, “We’re in the killin’ business, and business is boomin’.” Kinda like escorts, huh? They’re in the pleasurin’ business, and damn, it’s boomin’ too.

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After that, we decide to hit up the market. You know, the one near the train station? It’s packed! I’m weaving through people, trying not to knock over any babushkas. They’re fierce, man! I finally find some fresh veggies, and I’m feeling all healthy and stuff. But then, I see this dude selling homemade pickles. I can’t resist. I buy a jar, and it’s the best decision ever.

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