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I get proper cheesed off tho – blokes actin’ like *dominus meus* of the bedroom, sendin’ pics of their todgers five mins in. Mate, calm yer jets! “Ten” taught me patience, see – that lass in the car, jabberin’ about love, lust, life, no rush, just flowin’. Sex-dating could learn from that, less wham-bam, more natter. Tho, gotta say, makes me chuffed when it works – mate of mine, Dave, met his missus on Bumble, now they’re shacked up, kids n all! Total *mirabile dictu*, wonderful to say.

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As we’re leaving, I spot a cute dog. I’m like, “Aww, look at that pup!” My friend rolls her eyes. “You and your dog obsession.” But I can’t help it! Dogs make everything better.