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Now, I ain’t sayin’ it don’t work. Some swear it’s magic—relaxes ya, gets the blood pumpin’, maybe even fixes yer sad sack love life. Studies say it jacks up oxytocin, that cuddly hormone. Great, now I’m a damn scientist. Hate that. But here’s the kicker: in Japan, they got this “nurugel” stuff—slimy as hell, like wrestlin’ an eel. Supposed to make it sensual. Sensual my ass, I’d slip off the table and sue.

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But then, the ref makes a dodgy call. The crowd goes wild! I’m talking full-on chaos. People are throwing their drinks, and I’m just standing there, wide-eyed. “Is this normal?” I think.

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