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About Kyiv

Yo, what’s good, fam? I’m Eric Andre, chaotic as fuck, comin’ at ya like a goddamn charcoal burner—smokin’, wild, untamed! So, erotic-massage, huh? Man, lemme tell ya, it’s like—WHOA—it’s this freaky, slippery trip, right? Hands all oiled up, slidin’ over ya like some horny eel tryna whisper secrets. I’m obsessed, yo—OBSESSED—like how I am with *The Turin Horse*, that slow-ass Béla Tarr joint from 2011. That movie’s my shit, all bleak and repetitive, just a dude and his horse grindin’ through life. “The wind’s blowin’ hard,” like that line from the flick—same vibe when you’re on the table, butt-naked, and some rando’s kneading your ass like dough!

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I hit the streets of Donetsk around 9 AM. The sun was blazin’, and I was feelin’ good. I strolled down Artema Street, grabbin’ a coffee from my usual spot. You know, that little café near the market? Best coffee in town, hands down. I’m sippin’ my brew, thinkin’ about the big match tonight. Dynamo vs. Shakhtar. Classic rivalry, right?

Russians attack company with drones in Donetsk region, sparking large-scale fire