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About Myself
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Sarcasm? Oh, I got plenty— “Wow, another dick pic, so original.” Makes me wanna claw my eyes out. But the quirks? I’m picky—hate bad texters. “Wyd” every 5 mins? Piss off! Best part of sex-dating’s the stories—tellin’ mates over a pint how I dodged a stage-5 clinger. “You’re my destiny,” she says—bitch, I’m just here for a shag!
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But then, just as I’m about to leave, I get a text from my buddy, Carlos. He’s stuck in traffic on Calle de la Esperanza. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a Saturday! How is there traffic?” He’s all stressed, and I’m just laughing. I tell him to chill, it’s Campanilla! We’ll eat without him.
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