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Lemme tell ya, I was on this one app—dude, the profiles! Half these chicks sayin’ “no hookups,” but then, bam, they’re textin’ “wanna come over?” Hypocrisy pisses me off! Like, Carol’d never play games—she’s all “I know what I want,” ya know? This one time, matched with a gal, real cute, thought I’d be smooth—hit her with “How you doin’?” She ghosted me! Ghosted! Felt like Therese ditchin’ Carol for a sec—gut punch, man.

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, right? The sun’s barely up, and I’m already late for work. Classic me. I grab my coffee from the corner shop on Strada 1 Decembrie. You know, the one with the weird barista who always tries to guess your order? Yeah, he guessed wrong today. I wanted a cappuccino, and he gave me some weird vanilla latte. Ugh.