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Oh, and get this—back in Victorian times, whores had secret codes. Like, wearin’ a red ribbon meant “I’m busy,” or some crap. Clever! Little tricks to survive. Makes ya wonder—what’s the modern version? Apps? Tweets? “Swipe right for a quickie”? Hilarious! I’m over here, fumblin’ with my phone, and they’re runnin’ a damn empire. Infuriating—why’m I so useless?

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Finally, I’m like, “I need coffee.” So, I hit up this little café on Schulstraße. I order a cappuccino, and the barista is super nice. She’s like, “You want a heart on that?” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” But when she hands it to me, it looks more like a blob. I’m trying not to laugh. I mean, it’s the thought that counts, right?

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