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Now, I was thinkin’ ‘bout my favorite movie, *The Gleaners and I*—yep, that artsy lil gem from Agnès Varda. She’s all ‘bout pickin’ up what’s left behind, right? Well, sexual-massage kinda feels like that to me—like gleanin’ somethin’ precious outta the everyday grind. “I glean to live,” them folks in the movie say, and honey, I’m over here thinkin’, “I massage to *feel* alive!” Ain’t that the truth? It’s takin’ what’s simple—touch, skin, a lil oil—and turnin’ it into somethin’ downright magical.

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I rush down to the station, and it’s chaos. People are staring, and this guy is just standing there, looking all smug. I’m like, “Dude, you really thought you could just waltz in?” He starts talking back, and I’m like, “Listen, man, you’re not in Oslo. This is Steinkjer. We don’t play that game here.”

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